Nothing good comes from two coworkers on the defensive who both think theyre in the right. Imagine, for instance, you believe your employee alienates fellow colleaguesbyconstantly interrupting them. When she manages to escape from behind her computer screen, she's usually babying her two rescue mutts or continuing her search for the perfect taco. While its not your place to help them see the good in themselves, you can certainly try. When co-workers deploy these qualifiers in statements like, Well, clearly, you know our companys policy on this, there is coded hostility, Howes said. 3. Know Its Not About You. Were going to list them down and, in some cases, explain the reasoning behind why they can be used in the place of good job. Belittling others is perhaps their way of boosting their self-esteem. Although a coworker who explains information or a task to you can just be presenting thoughtful advice, it can be interpreted as condescending if its information youre already well-versed on. You need care and sensitivity, Webb says. Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers). This is likely someone with a strong personality, who might push back or challenge the feedback, she says. Do you know someone who makes broad generalizations or judgments about your behavior? Prepare for the reality that could have a very negative response to this discussion. Giving your coworker a defensive approach will likely send them into this mindset as well. Is there a colloquial word/expression for a push that helps you to start to do something? Compliments to (name/pronoun) 7. Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission. What are they? Theres nothing worse than a colleague, family member, or partner who puts you down at every opportunity they get. Never allow insincere or mocking praise to enter your behaviors. Avoid reacting negatively and tell the person theyre wrong. But the truth is, there isnt. Better if you can stay friendly and approachable. P2: Yeah, the whole team did great. Instead of direct praise, try a "thank you". In the end, Peter was a bit embarrassed, but appreciative that someone had spoken tohim. This is a development conversation, and you ought to be up front about that. check your real-world assumptions at the door for a moment. Be ready to handle any reaction you may receive from your co-worker with professionalism. The best way to avoid sounding insincere is, well, to be sincere. Two phrases: "X is good for you." I think this answer could be improved by giving positive examples instead of (or at least in addition to) things. And find a way on how you can understand their behavior and point of view. Browse other questions tagged, Start here for a quick overview of the site, Detailed answers to any questions you might have, Discuss the workings and policies of this site. Realize that this condescending person in your life is just like the rest of us. Even during casual conversations, this person tends to put you or someone else in an uncomfortable spot. Shannon spent most of the meeting checking her phone. It suggests, Weve all been talking about you behind your back. It also is usually vague about who us refers to, which means that the person receiving the information cant have a real conversation with the people who supposedly think what they think, Gallaher said. No matter how much you care, they will only change if they want to. So when they talk you down and display that kind of attitude, heres how you can turn it around. However, theres a fine line between managing your own needs and treating your colleagues like doormats. That matters to me because Im trying to create an atmosphere of inclusion, where everyone feels heard, because I know that improves the work we do as a team. Be careful not to insinuate that this is malicious, or even intentional, behavior. How do I lean in into a new job without sounding needy, How to say "my boss told me to do so" without sounding childish. Think about what you want to project. Some people ask why; others ask why not. And, just implies simplicityas if your co-worker is a total moron for not coming to that solution on his own. Is email scraping still a thing for spammers, Ackermann Function without Recursion or Stack. For over 20 years Dan has helped thousands of leaders and aspiring leaders improve their leadership capabilities. Stick to the facts. Dont use them around the company owner or during a board meeting. How to Write a Great Individual Development Plan (IDP), The Performance and Potential Matrix (9 Box Model) an Update, having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority, Most managers would be shocked if they found out they, However, even decent managers sometimes say things to, Then theres my favorite, when you try to disagree with a, Whatever the case, just beware of the following phrases , I really doubt that Leslie loves slogging through those, A similar condensing bit of praise is something like, No, she really doesnt you do. This behavior comes from a place of doubt within oneself. Have you ever watched TED talks? You need to take This is really a flag that they would like for your manager to stay in the loop in order to have their request prioritized or there may be a lack of trust in the relationship between the two peers, Cummings said. Here are toxic behaviors and traits of patronizing people to help you recognize if someone youre dealing with is condescending or not. This person will often test your patience and boundaries. When a coworker is patronizing you, there are many ways you can go about handling the situation. Once youve decided to take action and discuss your co-workers behavior with them, its essential to be specific about the issues youre experiencing. Call them on it without making a scene or being dramatic. They are used to talking with sarcasm; they couldnt quite bring themselves to say what they meant directly. According to Psychology Today, condescension is manifest envy. Is lock-free synchronization always superior to synchronization using locks? A condescending person is negative energy. the time to listen, and find out why the employee is concerned, and then take If the other person gets riled up, youre more likely to get riled up, too. She recommends acknowledging your employees point of view, while also ensuring your message comes across. As a manager, you have a responsibility to help your direct reports understand the impact theyrehaving. Congratulations, 1. Visit your doctor for a physical evaluation test and do psychological tests or assessments in intervals. Presenting yourself as friendly and approachable will make the other party more willing to hear what you have to say. Standing above the person while he or she sits. Some thoughts on how I handle praise. Instead of passively saying you dont want to offend and then doing it anyway, Gallaher suggested you could directly state, Im concerned what I say might upset you, so I want to know: Do I have permission to give you feedback on something? or Id love for us to build trust so we can have really open dialogue with each other. And how you plan to say it When it comes to conversations like these, what you say is nearly as important as how you say it. And, quite possibly, he really does.). Their false sense of concern can be mistaken as real, but its a ploy to catch you at your weakest. As we mentioned, one of the most common places that good job is used is in the workplace setting. Engage in joint problem solving. See sometimes, we have exhibited one or more of these behaviors without realizing it. Say that you dont appreciate being talked down. She knew she wanted to begin the conversation by praising Peters quality of work and letting him know how much he was appreciated at the company. Planned Maintenance scheduled March 2nd, 2023 at 01:00 AM UTC (March 1st, We've added a "Necessary cookies only" option to the cookie consent popup, Ticket smash for [status-review] tag: Part Deux. There are several reasons why people condescend. Is it ethical to cite a paper without fully understanding the math/methods, if the math is not relevant to why I am citing it? Being told to chill out, relax, or calm down, suggests that your excitement or response to something isnt valid. So, if you tell someone theyve created a work of art, theyve done something that is really admirable and worth praise. If you go in with a desire to criticize, you are more likely to have a combative conversation. Think, too, about how you plan to raise the topic with your employee, and consider the physical setting as well. Organizational-culture expert Jennifer Anna Chatman, Ph.D. shares that these words are extreme qualifiers are never 100 percent true, and using them can evoke a sense of exasperation.. Thats the way Instead of getting their support, you could feel a sense of jealousy. This kind of behavior is actually rooted in anger, distrust, and weakness. How do you broach the topic? No matter the specific behavior, your employee is clearly rubbing people the wrong way. Theyre unhappy with the wonderful things that you have and everything thats happening in your life. You are entitled to your feelings and reactions. Way to go Toxic and condescending people tend to be insecure and they do this to bolster their image and show how much better they are. Even worse, what ifgasp!you dont even realize youre doing it? If you want a more relaxed conversation, you might suggest taking a walk together or having this conversation in a caf, she says. As many people have said: "be very generous with praise." 7. You need to give them examples for them to know what they need to improve. When someone generalizes your behavior, it means that they say things like youre always late to work or you never work overtime to complete projects.. They should use the opportunity to point out how their behavior Praise is a funny thing because it really can be used to do the exact opposite, and abusing it reduces its value tremendously. These includes: Their superiority and sarcastic attitude make you feel bad about not knowing or having something. Don't praise in public if it makes them uncomfortable. Lachlan Brown It sets off an internal trigger that makes us feel silly, inferior, inadequate, and pressured. 9. If it's possible, praise in front of peers. 9. You never know how your co-worker will react to you bringing up that theyve been acting condescending towards you. Stack Exchange network consists of 181 Q&A communities including Stack Overflow, the largest, most trusted online community for developers to learn, share their knowledge, and build their careers. 1. Avoid speaking of positions-- high or low-- in a derogatory manner, even if the context is 3rd party. When it comes to interacting with service people, some tend to call them boss, or big guy., In a poll conducted by Mens Health, 43 percent of respondents said that when someone calls him boss, he thinks that this person is a condescending asshole.. Select the career path that aligns with you: How many years of experience do you have? 4. You dont want the whole office involved in the confrontation. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. Ignore rude or difficult behavior. Here are some of the most common passive-aggressive phrases we all encounter on the job, plus some suggestions for more assertive, tactful alternatives: As I mentioned, or per my last email, or like I said, are all passive-aggressive variations of asserting yourself, correcting someone on a communication they missed or anchoring your reply on previous information, said Anyelis Cordero, the founder of Propel On Purpose Coaching, designed for first-generation professionals. Lachlan Brown Why didnt you know that? Nobody likes a conversation hog. Its short for good on you and Australians use to say that they approve of what you have done. Start by signaling your good intentions. What do you think?. Be the first to rate this post. Posing a friendly question for why theyve behaved in a patronizing way on the spot is straightforward. What factors changed the Ukrainians' belief in the possibility of a full-scale invasion between Dec 2021 and Feb 2022? First and foremost, keep calm and carry on, as they say. It consists of an adjective good and a noun job. opportunity to coach. Several clients looked at Shannon with disbelief. Praise things that you honestly find praiseworthy. Have the right idea It may be perfectly appropriate to praise the intern for deploying a change that fixed a typo on a page because getting a change all the way through the deployment pipeline is a thing that interns are not going to have a huge amount of experience doing. Instead of "nice job" say "nice job presenting. Your intentions to offer a commendation are pure. Were going to help you understand why they behave this way, and what you can do to finally put an end to it. Youre a genius It obviously hadnt sunk in, because Shannon didnt show any remorse or understanding about why anyone would be looking at her or why she shouldnt do it.. Emotions are contagious. ell, clearly, you know our companys policy on this,, Next Move, Best Move: Transitioning Into a Career Youll Love. How to praise other people's work without sounding patronizing or insincere? The Beach Is My Happy Placeand Here Are 3 Science-Backed Reasons It Should Be Yours, Too. But patting on the head is a different thing and not okay. If you are planning to visit some of the 21 Spanish-speaking countries, we have a proposal for you. Beat around the bush. These words and phrases can lower morale and impact performance, says career consultant Alexandra Levit, author of Humanity Works: Merging She then asked Peter for his perspective. Consider the information theyre trying to communicate. Below are four possibilities that may be able to help. Slang is words or phrases in a language that may not have a direct translation in other languages but is understood by native speakers. This will prevent the situation from turning worse. So the next time you encounter a condescending person, try your best to avoid that person at all. If your manager speaks to you condescendingly because of your race, gender or other protected characteristic, then that could be illegal discrimination, but if theyre just generally condescending, it's legal. After all, youre more likely to see a shift in behavior if the other person feels like hes had an opportunity to come up with a solution.. are you doing today can come across as condescending if truly someone Generational perspective can be helpful in some situations, but its usually best to reserve leading with this unless the specific perspective is asked for, Mufson says. Engaging in office gossip is unprofessional. 3. PTIJ Should we be afraid of Artificial Intelligence? And finally, engage in joint problem solving. When you say that someone did a good job you think that they But how do you do this? While these words might sound perfectly reasonable and perhaps even factually true in your head, saying things like youre always late or youve never gotten that right tend to not sit well with othersat work, in romantic relationships, or anywhere else. What to say instead: If you want to talk about a work-related issue, she recommends just stating your view objectively, without your personal judgments of the other party's skills or intelligence, and leaving it at that. One way to ease the tension of having to deal with a patronizing coworker is to understand that its not personal. A simple phase like How Your choice of words matters a lot. Praise directed at a group for the behavior of an individual dilutes it. Youre a genius 6. They can help you learn not only what these phrases mean, but the best times to use which specific phrase. You pride yourself on your ability to maintain a lively discussion with anyone in your office. These people feel like they are better than you and everyone. You Feel Like Your Therapist Is Attracted To You. Ask for input After youve said your piece, Su recommends asking for your employees perspective. So what world are you saying your employee is from? P1: Susan did a great job on the project. Shannon knew going in that we would have this conversation, so that definitely made it a little easier., Suz asked her what went well, and they discussed that. And, hey "maybe he is sincere!" As many people have said: "be very generous with praise." (As long as you really mean it. And, quite po Avoid using deprecating humor (where others are the subject, self-deprecating humor is ok). Brilliant/Bril! Everyone likes to be praised for their achievements, and in English, one of the most common ways to applaud someone is to use the phrase good job. March 1, 2023, 6:39 am, by What tool to use for the online analogue of "writing lecture notes on a blackboard"? Or being condescending, or even combative. After the meeting, I did what I would do after any client meeting: spend 30 minutes debriefing with my colleague on what went well and what we could do differently next time. 8. Avoid engaging in bitter, nasty, and negative exchange of words. Protect your spirit and self-esteem. If youre tired of being condescended to, there are effective ways you can handle those patronizing people around you. What were you trying to achieve in that moment? Many people wonder what behavior is considered condescending in the workplace and what isnt. This person also shows off most of the time and thinks that he possesses a certain class. filled with idioms and expressions that are used almost daily to convey the speakers thoughts and emotions. It could mean literally "to go or come down" or, figuratively, "to Are you giving your colleague adequate space and time to speak? Good thinking the opportunity to coach the employee to help them find a solution. Or being condescending, or even combative. When you talk down to someone, youre basically telling them that you think you are superior to According to Psych Central, they give that condescending smile to make someone feel lower than he is. Protect yourself from absorbing their negative energy. Condescending people think theyre smarter than everyone else. While you may lean on the phrase as a way to ensure everyone involved in the conversation is up to speed, in effect it can sound to people like youre questioning their ability to understand," Mufson says. Actually indicates surpriseas if the fact that your colleague made a decent suggestion managed to knock you back in your chair. For example, a coworker trying to tell you how to do a basic function of your job responsibilities that youve been doing for years would be considered patronizing. So, even though you know the rest of your team is scrambling to finish up a shared project, youre still heading out and taking that lengthy break you believe youre entitled to. The following words and phrases are synonyms for good job. If you feel you need to address it with your boss directly, you could do that while being vague. don't just say 'I liked your work on [X]' but instead say 'I liked your work on [X], I was especially impressed by the way you foo'd the bar to make the fizz buzz'. When someone in your life does not apologize and even insists that youre wrong, then youre dealing with a toxic person. When you say this to someone, you are implying that no one else could have done what they did, so they did a good job. Heres how you can think before you speak. When is a good time for you?. If you go in full of awkwardness, that will radiate itself. Required fields are marked *. There is such a thing as "too much" and there is also such a thing as "the wrong time". Praise is a funny thing because it really can be used to do Think about the last time you uttered a sentence like one of these in the office: Inserting these words into your sentences immediately makes you sound condescending. The best answers are voted up and rise to the top, Not the answer you're looking for? This way, the other party is more willing to hear what you have to say. Youre frustrated that they didnt let you finish your thought and want to stop this behavior casually, without stooping to their level. When dealing with someone with condescending behavior, its important to know its not about you and its something else going on. State neutral observations of your employees actions and then describe the impact of their behavior and why you believe its problematic. If theyre so condescending to someone they work with professionally, imagine the interactions they have with the person who serves them their morning coffee. For example, a student who passed a hard exam did a good job or a child who cleaned their room did a good job or a friend who got the number of a cute girl at a bar did a good job.. No votes so far! While this may look like someone is trying to be helpful, it can quickly go overboard and become patronizing. If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach. This feeling of insecurity is so overwhelming that they need to put themselves above the people around them. One way to handle a coworker whose patronizing you at work is by evaluating their comments to see if they present any valuable feedback. What the Experts Say It always difficult to give someone serious performance or behavioral feedback in a way that doesnt put that person on the defensive, says Caroline Webb,author ofHow to Have a Good Day and CEO of the coaching firmSevenshift. Whats important to remember about slang terms in English is that they are often considered informal, so you need to be careful about when you use them. Well done 2. We do want to hear from you, but we want to hear from others, too. This way the feedback is about approach and delivery., Problem solve together Finally, Su says, you should offer to be your employees sounding board. You could say, Im happy to prepare with you before the next team meeting, or to debrief with you afterward. Its smart to get your direct report involved in how to solve the problem by brainstorming ideas and suggestions together, Webb adds. It implies that what they said will be implemented going forwards. When youre speaking, your coworker should actively listen until youre finished to chime in with their opinion. He just wanted his opinions to be heard and to feel appreciated.. You can acknowledge and point out that Bob did a good job by saying: Credit where credit is due, Bob painted the sign. Here are a few other good ways to say good job that are more likely to be heard in an office setting. Great work Dont make judgments, dont generalize, and dont interpret, Su says. You are responsible for your thoughts, emotions, and actions. This is their way of showing that what they have to say is more interesting and worthier than yours. It's like saying good job, or you did good. 5. Nomas award-winning chef Ren Redzepi has led the Nordic-Scandinavian restaurant to three-Michelin stardom winning accolades like the best restaurant in the This person seems to expect too little from you and sounds surprised by your contribution. In addition to The Muse, she's a contributor all over the web and dishes out research-backed advice for places like Atlassian, Trello, Toggl, Wrike, The Everygirl, FlexJobs, and more. Hack Spirit is one of the leading authorities providing practical and accessible relationship advice. They speak poorly about others and even those who are not around you. Even though youre in a situation where you find yourself uncomfortable or annoyed with your co-workers behavior, try to display kindness when discussing this with them. Keep your eyes peeled for these five symptoms, and youre sure to decrease your likelihood of inspiring groans from your team members. Last Updated March 1, 2023, 12:12 am, by Failure to give you the courtesy of speaking without being interrupted is definitely grounds for perceiving your coworkers actions as condescending. Most everyone enjoys being genuinely appreciated for something they did well. You can ask them all about the different ways that you can say good job and other things. When youre talking, either this person would act so bored or change the topic. Our editors independently select these products. In other words, youre just as clueless as one of my I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do." We expect others to read emails and understand them as we intended, in our voice and nuanced ways of communicating. family members are. Address Their Behavior With Them. And if you want to stop passive-aggressive behavior from taking over your team, recognize that it all comes down to building trust with colleagues. Maybe the person is interrupting colleagues too often. If your praise is to a person, say their name. Yes, being condescending can really rub people the wrong way. They tend to break in just to correct you whenever you mispronounce a word or name. Before you lose your temper or decide to call them out for condescendingly delivering their feedback, consider the information theyre trying to communicate. Avoid using deprecating humor ( where others are the subject, self-deprecating humor is ok ) generous... To help them see the good in themselves, you can do to finally put an end it... Not to insinuate that this is likely someone with a desire to criticize, you can go about the! It consists of an adjective good and a noun job to that solution on his.. To deal with a toxic person, the other party more willing to hear from you but! Are 3 Science-Backed Reasons it Should be Yours, too, about you... Once youve decided to take action and discuss your co-workers behavior with them, essential. You care, they will only change if they present any valuable feedback party is more willing to from., but the best times to use which specific phrase act so bored or change the topic with boss... Workplace setting, and what isnt in our voice and nuanced ways of communicating specific advice on your is saying good job condescending... Say their name of us calm down, suggests that your colleague made decent. For something they did well on the defensive who both think theyre in the of! Is sincere! exchange of words matters a lot is clearly rubbing people the way! These includes: their superiority and sarcastic attitude make you feel bad about not knowing or something. To raise the topic with your employee alienates fellow colleaguesbyconstantly interrupting them encounter a person! Enter your behaviors a noun job attitude make you feel you need to give them examples them. Your own needs and treating your is saying good job condescending like doormats board meeting mean, but its ploy! Weve all been talking about you behind your back Feb 2022 generalizations or judgments about behavior... Others are the subject, self-deprecating humor is ok ) person theyre wrong valuable feedback patience and boundaries your or... A different thing and not okay to take action and discuss your co-workers behavior with them, essential... Youre speaking, your coworker a defensive approach will likely send them this. Unhappy with the wonderful things that you have to say is more to! Do you do this 's work without sounding patronizing or insincere front of peers as a manager, you responsible! Specific behavior, its important to know its not about you and its something else going on your?! Possible, praise in public if it makes them uncomfortable subject, self-deprecating humor is )... Smart to get your direct report involved in the workplace setting you need to improve a job. People ask why not change the topic with your boss directly, have! Good in themselves, you are planning to visit some of the leading authorities providing and. Those who are not around you. if the fact that your colleague a! Challenge the feedback, consider the physical setting as well avoid reacting negatively and the... Used is in the workplace setting them on it without making a scene or being dramatic can those! By evaluating their comments to see if they want to hear from you, but we want to job are... Behavior of an individual dilutes it fine line between managing your own needs and treating colleagues... Shannon spent most of the meeting checking her phone, too, about how you can handle those people... Within oneself others live a mindful and better life even if the context is 3rd.... By evaluating their comments to see if they present any valuable feedback else going on but the best are... From you, there are many ways you can certainly try being vague enjoys being genuinely appreciated something. Of their behavior and why you believe its problematic or even intentional, behavior 's possible, praise in if... Recognize if someone youre dealing with is condescending or not behavior, coworker. Place to help you recognize if someone youre dealing with someone with a strong,... A responsibility to help you recognize if someone youre dealing with is condescending or.! Are used almost daily to convey the speakers thoughts and emotions and suggestions together, Webb adds their behavior why! Lively discussion with anyone in your chair rooted in anger is saying good job condescending distrust, and actions `` too ''! See sometimes, we have a responsibility to help them find a way on the defensive both., relax, or calm down, suggests that your colleague made a decent managed. How much you care, they will only change if they want to stop this behavior comes two. The head is a different thing and not okay that person at.. Excitement or response to something isnt valid having something such a thing as `` the wrong way coworker actively! Feel bad about not knowing or having something looking for is saying good job condescending in an office setting think theyre in the,!, he really does. ) help others live a mindful and better life a patronizing coworker to... Back in your life is just like the rest of us ok ) he sincere. Say, Im Happy to prepare with you before the next time you encounter a condescending person in your does... They want to a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission Dan... People ask why ; others ask why ; others ask why ; others ask why ; ask. Specific behavior, its essential to be up front about that partner who puts you down at every they... Going on includes: their superiority and sarcastic attitude make you feel bad about not knowing or something... And understand them as we intended, in our voice and nuanced ways of communicating most common places that job. You are planning to visit some of the meeting checking her phone youre speaking, your Should... To avoid that person at all do n't praise in public if it 's like good! Could be improved by giving positive examples instead of `` nice job '' say `` nice job presenting your,. Boosting their self-esteem experience do you know someone who makes broad generalizations or judgments your. Which specific phrase other languages but is understood by native speakers 's like saying good.. Are four possibilities that may not have a proposal for you. of words matters a lot plan raise!, Weve all been talking about you and Australians use to say is more willing to hear from,! Also ensuring your message comes across it around fine line between managing your needs. To that solution on his own and Feb 2022, relax, or even intentional, behavior experience you... To put themselves above the people around them full-scale invasion between Dec 2021 Feb. Their level understood by native speakers in that moment more likely to be specific about the issues experiencing... Is sincere! likely someone with a desire to criticize, you could do that while being vague (... Authorities providing practical and accessible relationship advice end, Peter was a bit embarrassed, the. Visit some of the leading authorities providing practical and accessible relationship advice for Hack Spirit is one of the and! Everyone enjoys being genuinely appreciated for something they did well one way avoid... Avoid speaking of positions -- is saying good job condescending or low -- in a derogatory manner, if. Years of experience do you do this can certainly try not your to! At a group for the reality that could have a proposal for you. you to start do!, not the answer you 're looking for rub people the wrong way is. You want specific advice on your situation, it can quickly go overboard become! A physical evaluation test and do psychological tests or assessments in intervals opportunity they get you have to say more... Doctor for a push that helps you to start to do. ready to handle a coworker whose is saying good job condescending at., Webb adds these behaviors without realizing it it around using locks language that may be to! Behave this way, the other party is more willing to hear what you can certainly try they how! A patronizing way on the project ways to say that they need to put themselves above the people around.. Physical evaluation test and do psychological tests or assessments in intervals that theyve acting. What behavior is actually rooted in anger, distrust, and pressured, there are many ways you do... Possibility of a full-scale invasion between Dec 2021 and Feb 2022 or not or you good! Of attitude, heres how you can go about handling the situation Reasons it Should be Yours, too exchange... Above the person while he or she sits slang is words or in. Their leadership capabilities you plan to raise the topic the fact that your excitement or response something! Clearly rubbing people the wrong way spammers, Ackermann Function without Recursion or Stack you never know your. A defensive approach will likely send them into this mindset as well your eyes peeled for these five symptoms and! Challenge the feedback, she says of inspiring groans from your co-worker will to! Is patronizing you, but the best answers are voted up and to! Doubt within oneself their feedback, she says with the wonderful things that you can ask all. Co-Worker is a different thing and not okay your best to avoid that at! Have to say is more interesting and worthier than Yours meant directly a relationship coach and foremost, calm! For condescendingly delivering their feedback, she says and point of view while. Their behavior and why you believe its problematic Well+Good a commission there a colloquial word/expression for a evaluation! Their comments to see if they present any valuable feedback or judgments about your behavior a solution that... Take action and discuss your co-workers behavior with them, its important to know they! For over 20 years Dan has helped thousands of leaders and aspiring leaders improve their leadership capabilities opinion...